a few things i have learned to overcome the "7 year itch":
-we should never get married to be happy. that is dooms day waiting to happen.
-when a problem arises don't wait for your spouse to fix themselves or fix "it". instead focus on working on Y O U and what you can contribute to the solution.
-changing your spouse is impossible, the moment we realize that truth is the moment we are released of much stress and unnecessary pain.
-having an attitude of gratitude will take your marriage to new heights.
-say "i love you" & kiss daily.
-never complain to outsiders what you deal with privately because opinions are one-sided so you'll never get the right advice.
-speak positivity into the life of your mate (if you want to keep them forever).
-choose to understand (that means listening first) instead of blaming.
-if you scramble the letters in the word (L I S T E N) they spell SILENT, so be quick to listen and slow to speak.
-use your words to edify instead of tear down, chances are that your spouse knows most of their flaws already so don't be quick to point them out.
-say what you want! speak into existence that which you want to see happen because what you speak becomes what you believe and what you believe becomes what you will see.
-a love that lasts and grows stronger together begins by becoming a team/a partnership so look at your spouse as your teammate rather than an opposing team member.
-be clear about you want and don't want, what you like and don't like. don't assume your spouse should know.
-in moments of high stress and hard times it's ok to take a step back analyze the situation separately then put your heads together and make a game plan to kick that problem to the curb.
-God really, Really, REALLY needs to be your source of strength, your connection point, meet at the cross. -marriage is not guaranteed to be clear, perfect, a straight path, a walk in the park, in fact, I can assure you it'll be tough, but you can make it through with the right attitude.
this sunday we turn 7 years old!
well our marriage is 7, we are proudly ::30-something:: year olds.
i was contemplating the "seven year mark" by now a couple should
have mastered a ton of different skills, right? they say that the
seventh year is the hardest BUT i just know it will a phenomenal
SUPERNATURAL year. this is the year we break free of debt, do
things we have never done and change the direction of our future.
i am so confident of this because it has already been promised to
us. i believe that our influence in the christian community will
reach new heights. i believe that we have been set apart to set
up a future for the kingdom of God by undergoing transformation
in ourselves. i am in no way trying to boast or brag but my spirit
is in such a state of expectation & excitement, i can't contain it.
what we believe we speak, what we speak we do and what we do becomes
who we are.
who we are speaks to others.
my husband and i have always set out to do God's will above our own. we have
had times of plenty and times of lack. we have come to realize the ugly parts of
us that need change and a touch of God. we have struggled and we have been
triumphant. we have gone through seasons of having pennies in our bank
account and seasons of hundreds in the bank and none of which has given me
more security than the other. if i'm being honest i'd rather have little money
in the bank but lots of faith in God because He always amazes us and comes
through. one of our dreams is to live on 50% of our income and give away
the other 50%. we never want to have the burden of a mortgage either. i
know it sounds crazy, to others, but we believe for a paid-off home. we will
never have a car payment again either. we believe for paid off vehicles too.
it's gonna happen. we are also going to pay off debt for others. i believe we
have been blessed to be a blessing. nothing is "ours" it's only been lent to us
in order to see how we will manage it. i believe this will be our year of giving
back and giving more away.
by God's marvelous grace.
thinking about the 7th year and all that it means. i thought "we are still kids in this road of marriage" so i decided to google what the average 7 year old child should know, and i came across this.....by 7 years of age a child has:
1. improved literacy skills (reading & writing) offer experiences that dramatically expand experiences
application in marriage -hopefully by this time we have a good amount of experience and a good grasp or understanding as to how we are to deal with/love our spouse correctly and we have become better spouses
2. better interaction of language
application in marriage- we learn to speak how we feel in honesty without trying to hold back for fear of our spouses feelings (sometimes it works against us too...whoops) but we learn to express what we really want and not just be a people pleaser.
3. demonstrated their understanding through discussion
application in marriage- we talk it out more instead of wishing the problem away or pretending it is resolved, this is developed maturity really.
4. vocabulary that continues to grow
application in marriage- through our communication we grow in understanding our spouse better and his/her needs
5. a more developed and engaging sense of writing
application in marriage- our "love letters/love notes/texts/greeting cards" to our spouse we become much more specific and meaningful after years of being together, hopefully we learn that sweet spot that we lost after the early stages of dating.
6. a strong number sense and estimation skills
application in marriage- haha, number sense & estimation skills? well that can be self-explanatory, has any wife out there spent a little too much money and worried about the consequences or that "talk" from our spouse? yea, thought so.
7. a typical preference of structure and routines
application in marriage- by this time we definitely have a routine in our day-to-day activities, especially once kids enter the equation because every moment has to be accounted for.
8. chosen to work or play independently when frustrated
application in marriage- we definitely learn the need for "me time" or personal time to come back with your head in the game and focusing together as a team.
9. the capacity to understand others' actions and feelings
application in marriage- we learn each other better (self-explanatory, right?)
10. increased their knowledge of art elements, materials, techniques and processes
application in marriage- yes! in all aspects.
7 years truly is just the beginning of a thriving future. i have heard so much about the 7 year itch, which is described as a period where interest in your spouse diminishes. i only believe that people that give mind to that myth will succumb to it's suffering.
i hope this inspires and blesses someone. i am certainly still learning and growing but i would not have it any other way.
choose to be a life long learner.
i pray blessings over your current/future marriage.
